Something Missing
by StevexBuckyx
Summary: Richie and Eddie briefly date as teens, but lose it all when Eddie freaks out. 27 years later can they rekindle their relationship? Reddie. T for language and mild smut (not really smut tho) WILL HAVE IT 2 SPOILERS
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE

* * *

Summer of '91. Threeish years after pennywise. Everything was perfect. The losers club hung out almost everyday. Stan and Bill had started dating a year prior and made it official a few months ago. They couldn't be happier. Richie and Eddie hooked up at the start of the summer and had started dating.

"Guys, I've gotta go. Curfew," Eddie frowned.  
"I'll walk you home Eds," Richie offered.  
"Don't call me that."  
"Oh you love it, especially when you basically beg me to call you Eds when I push you against the edge of the shower, kiss your neck while I run my hands-"  
"Ok that's enough."  
"But Eddie, we wanna know," Beverly teased,  
"Yeah, well I have to go. Are you walking me home or not Rich?"  
"Of course I am Eddie Spaghetti!"

Eddie and Richie said goodbye to the rest of the losers. When Eddie turned and started to walk, Richie pretend to slap his lovers ass then winked at the others.

When they got outside Eddies house, he looked down at his watch.

"Shit, it's past 10. Mom will be angry."  
"I'm a pro at climbing up to your window, I'll show you how to sneak in silently."

Eddie rolled his eyes, but copied Richies movement. They lifted his window that he always left unlocked and Eddie climbed through.

"Thanks for walking me home."  
"Anything for my Eds," he winked, "goodnight my love."  
"Charming one aren't you? Goodnight Rich."

Richie turned to jump off the balcony before being stopped by Eddie calling out.

"Richie wait."  
"Mm?" He turned.

Eddie grabbed his shirt and pulled him into a kiss. Richie cupped Eddies face. The man inside the house started to back up. Richie kept their lips locked by climbing in through the window. He slipped off his shoes and picked Eddie up. The smaller man wrapped his legs around Richies waist. He walked them over to the bed and he laid him down then pressed down on top of him all while keeping their lips locked. Richie started to grind their hips together.

"Mmm Rich," Eddie moaned softly against his lips. "You're fucking gorgeous," Richie said in response.

He pulled away from the smaller mans lips and went in for his neck. Eddie started to lift Richies shirt. He slowly ran one of his hands up his lovers chest. Richie laced his fingers with Eddies free hand and pushed the smaller mans hand down onto the pillow next to his head.

"I love you so much Eddie," Richie said softly against his lovers neck.

Eddies panicked and pushed the teen off of him. He sat up and faced away from Richie.

"I'm sorry, I-"  
"No, I think you should go."  
"Eds-"  
"I'll call you later."

Richie didn't argue any further. He put his shoes on then climbed out the window.

"Goodnight," he said softly before closing the window behind him.

Richie didn't go home that night. He went to Stans. He climbed through the window and had told him what happened. They both waited for Eddie to call, but he never did. Richie accepted that he was just a summer fling and that's why Eddie had freaked. They weren't officially boyfriends and Eddie was never good at dealing with his emotions.

Years passed, Richie never got a call. He smiled at Eddie in the halls, but Eddie just ducked his head and walked away. Richie was the first of the losers to stop hanging out with them. He knew Eddie didn't like it when he was around. By the time he was 18 he had saved enough money to move away. He left to LA and never looked back.

As time moved on he forgot about Derry and the losers. He got together with a boy named Austin. He was a short boy. He had asthma and was a complete health freak. He had a kind nature and was really sweet, but he never went back and forth with Richies comments. No matter how much sex they had or how many dates they went on, nothing ever felt right. That relationship lasted about 6 months. He always felt that something was missing, but for the life of him he couldn't figure out what.

Eddie never let himself to get close to anyone. He didn't remember Richie, but he knew something in his childhood had hurt him deeply. Something he had done had tainted his ability to let himself love others. He met a nice boy named Ryan. He had a dirty sense of humour and was way taller than him. He had messy black hair which always flopped on his forehead paired with large glasses. He called him 'Eds' once and immediately stopped after Eddie said he didn't like it which kind of disappointed him a bit. The relationship lasted just under a year as when he said 'I love you' for the first time, Eddie completely freaked out which ultimately pushed him away.

Everything changed when they went to meet Mike in the Chinese restaurant after the call from him.

Richie got out of his car and took a deep breathe. He didn't like being back in Derry. In fact he hated it. Since he'd been back in the god forsaken town he'd already remembered everything that happened between him and Eddie, but he couldn't remember his name for the life of him. He was just about to lock his car when he heard an all too familiar voice behind him.

"R-richie?"

He turned to see the boy from his memories. He looked the same mostly, but he had large bags under his eyes and longer messier hair.

"Eds."

_Eds_. The name fell from his lips before he could stop himself. _Eds_.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2 (severe trigger warnings for suicide)

* * *

_Eds_. The name fell from his lips before he could stop himself. _Eds_.

The losers sat around the table. Richies eyes were fixed on the empty seat. It made his stomach twist and turn.

"Hey Bill, where's Stan?" Eddie had asked.  
"H-h-he isn't c-c-come-c-c-coming."  
"What?" Mike asked, "why?"  
"W-when we got the call he w-w-wen-went into f-f-f-full p-p-panic mode. L-l-locked h-hi-himself in the bathroom. I broke th-th-the l-l-lock and f-f-found him i-in th-the bath."

The thought alone made Richie sick to his stomach.

"You don't mean he..." Richie trailed off.

Bill fiddled with a wedding band on his finger that was a bit too big for him. He closed his eyes and relived the memory.

"_Stan! Hey open up! You've been in there for almost an hour, we need to start packing!"_

_There was no response._

_"This isn't funny!" Bill sighed, "I'm coming in!"_

_He got a knife and stuck it in the lock. He jiggled it around a bit. The lock weakened and Bill broke it off the door. He pushed it opened to find his worst nightmare. Stan laid lifeless in the tub. Big cuts on his wrists dripped blood. The water was red along with the floor where Stanley's hand was hanging._

_"No no no no," he cried, "S-s-st-st-stan!"_

_He tried to shake him awake and stop the bleeding. He pulled him out the bath and laid him on the floor._

_"P-p-p-pl-ple-please wake up," he sobbed while shaking him, "I l-l-lo-love you Stan, don't leave me."_

_Tears fell down his cheeks and onto his lifeless husband. He pulled Stanley onto his lap and hugged him. His heart felt so heavy in his chest he felt as if it was going to stop him from standing ever again. His hands shook involuntary. His neighbour had heard his loud crying and had come to check on him. When there was no response, the neighbour grabbed the spare key from the plant pot and went in. He found Bill holding Stan in the bathroom. The neighbour kneeled down and put her arms around Bill. Bill let go of his husband and hugged her while crying profusely into her shoulder._

_The cops had given Bill his deceased husbands wedding band. He then took his own off and replaced it with Stanley's. A bit too big, but he swore he'd never take it off._

Richie started to tear up. Every time he blinked his vision got blurrier. Eddie, who had been sitting next to him, rubbed his hand on Richies shoulders. He and Bill exchanged sad looks.

After they all got caught up to speed and Mike told them everything, they left to the holiday house they'd all rented together. Richie and Eddie had laughed and joked like old times as they walked to their cars and as they'd walked into the holiday home. They said goodbye to eachother as they went into their respective rooms.

Richie sat on his current bed and ran his fingers through his hair. He felt weird. Being back with everyone, with Eddie, felt right. For the first time in over two decades he felt as if everything was right. It still felt empty without Stan, no matter what he tried to convince himself.

Eddie, next door was hurt. He realised what he was missing all these years wasn't a something. It was a someone and that someone was Richie fucking Tozier. He remembered what had happened that summer. He had remembered what had happened that had made him a private person.

Richie laid down on his bed and threw his glasses on the nightstand. He'd always been a good sleeper. Could get to sleep fast and wake up whenever he wanted. He had almost completely drifted off when he heard a cry from the next room over. He walked over to the wall and heard Eddie. He was talking to himself while crying. He could hear the shake and obvious hurt in his voice. Eddie got quieter then he was silent. Richie went over to make sure he was ok, but when he opened the door Eddie was in the hallway with bloodshot eyes.

"Are you ok?"  
"C-can I come in?"  
"Of course."

The shorter man walked into the bedroom and Richie closed the door behind him.

"What's wrong?"  
"D-Do you remember 1991?"  
"Somewhat," he lied.  
"We were all together until I pushed you away."  
"Eds..."  
"All these years I felt something was missing. I dated a lot of guys that look exactly like your stupid ass, but none were you. I didn't realise until now that the reason I've never been able to get close to anyone was because I closed myself off...to you. All I've ever wanted is to feel your lips against mine one last time."

Eddie wasn't usually this forward, but when he was it meant he was dead serious. The trashmouth quickly leant in and kissed him. Richie pulled away, but Eddie leant his head forwards and resealed their lips. He parted his mouth slightly allowing Richie to kiss him deeper. Richie picked him up the same way he did all those years ago. He threw him on the bed and started grinding into him. He kissed Eddies neck and pinned his right hand down by entwining their fingers and pushing on him. Eddie used his free hand to tug on Richies hair. It drove him wild.

"Wait," he pulled away from his neck, "are you sure you want this?"  
"I've never been more sure of anything."

Richie smiled and went back in for his neck.

"I love you Eds," he breathed against the smaller mans neck.  
"I love you too Rich," he tugged at Richies hair again, earning a moan.

He slipped off Eddies shirt and threw it on the floor. He started to leave hickeys down his chest. The small burning sensations turned Eddie on even more. He moaned softly as Richie got lower. Richie looked up at Eddie to see him throwing his head back like he did all those years ago. He started to undo Eddies jeans. His fingers fumbled on the buttons, but he hid his struggle by leaving another hickey near the waistline of the jeans. Once the jeans were unzipped and pulled down, Richie pushed himself up so he was eye level with his lost love. He slowly rolled his hips into Eddies, rubbing their erections together.

"Fuck Richie," he moaned loudly, "c-call me that nickname...please," he barely cried out.  
"Fucking gorgeous Eds, my Eds."

Richie started to roll his hips faster creating more friction.

"I'm not gonna last long Ri- o-oH my god!"

In the middle of his sentence Richie had stripped himself of his own shirt. Eddie admired his chest. It was perfectly chiseled and sculpted. There was a bang on the door.

"SHUT UP," Ben yelled, "THIN WALLS!"  
"You could only wish you were in his position haystack!" Richie called back.

He turned his attention back to the man underneath him.

"Now where were we?"  
"I think we were somewhere about here," Eddie kissed Richies already swollen lips.

After their shared extortions, Eddie rested his head on Richies chest. Richie played with Eddies hair. He listened to the smaller mans breaths go from pants to soft breaths. Eddies warm breaths against his skin gave him goosebumps.

"Rich."

"Yeah?"  
"Does this mean we're official?"  
"If you want."

Eddie didn't reply. He just hugged him tighter. Richie thought about how right this felt. Nothing had felt this perfect in two decades and he was amazed with how good Eddie made him feel. Just looking at him with swollen lips and love bites from his neck to his pubic bone alone was enough to made Richie finish. He hoped he hadn't disturbed the rest of the losers too much.

"Goodnight Eds," he whispered softly before drifting off himself.

The next morning, Richie woke to his phone buzzing. Eddie was still sleeping on his chest. He tried his best not to wake him and checked the message. It was from Beverly.

"Downstairs, 10 minutes" it said.

Richie sighed and started to trace his fingers along Eddies shoulder muscles causing him to stir and eventually open his eyes.

"Good morning Eds," Richie said smiling.  
"Morning Rich," he answered groggily, "so last night wasn't a dream huh?"  
"Nope," he smiled, "the losers want us downstairs."  
"Ugh really?" he said closing his eyes, "can't we just stay like this for a little longer?"  
"I've left it as long as I could."

The pair got dressed. Eddie threw on some jeans and a collared shirt and Richie pulled on some ripped jeans and a hoodie. Eddie asked if he could wear one or the hoodies and of course, Richie let him. It hung off his small stature, but he still managed to make it look good. The two shared one last kiss before leaving Richies room and heading downstairs with their fingers laced.

"Have fun last night?" Beverly asked glancing at the hickey on Eddies neck, sticking out the hoodie.

"Yeah, I did actually thanks for asking," Richie winked.  
"You guys were so fucking loud," Ben gulped down some coffee, "you literally went for two hours."  
"Eddie Spaghetti knows what he wants."  
"Don't call me that."  
"Ok Eds."  
"You're so annoying and I hate that name too," he took his hand away from Richies and went to make some coffee.  
"You didn't hate it last night."  
"Shut up Richie, just shut up."  
"E-E-Eddie we c-c-coul-could hear y-you b-beg-begging."

Eddie went a deep shade of red and took a sip of his coffee. Bev ran up to Richie and started to drag him away from the group.

"Tell me everything," she smiled.  
"Well, what happened was-" Richie started only to be cut off my Eddie.  
"Oh no you don't, get your ass back here Tozier!"  
"Only if you ask nicely," he winked.

Eddie started running causing Richie to sprint away. The losers could hear Eddie cursing at Richie making dirty remarks. They started laughing. Even after all these years they were still the same around eachother. It made the losers feel like teens again.

Eddie caught up to Richie and pinned him against the wall.

"Got you," he smiled with his arms against the wall either side of Richie.  
"Nope," Richie turned so Eddie was how pinned, "I got you."

Eddie grabbed the hoodie strings and pulled Richie in towards him.

"You're gorgeous Eddie Kaspbrak."  
"You're beautiful Richie Tozier."

Eddie snaked his hand from Richies chest to the back of his head. He pulled him into a kiss. Richie removed his hands from the wall and picked Eddie up, still holding him against the wall. The smaller man wrapped his legs around his lovers waist. Richie took his lips away from Eddies and placed them onto his neck. He sucked on Eddies neck softly. Eddie closed his eyes and rested his head on the wall behind him. He placed a hand in Richies hair and tugged it softly making him moan against his neck. Eddie panted softly.

"Wow," Beverly said.

Eddie opened his eyes to see all the losers standing watching.

"Rich."  
"Mmm?" He turned his head to see the losers. He quickly put Eddie down and stepped away from him.

"That was really something," Ben said.  
"How long were you guys standing there?" Richie asked.  
"Long enough to notice you have a thing for hair-pulling trashmouth," Beverly smiled, "Is that why you left it longer?"  
"Yep. Eddies mom was really good at it, it's one of the few things he inherited."  
"You're so disgusting," Eddie scoffed.

Bill laughed at them. Mike rolled his eyes and walked off.

"W-w-we-we're going out to f-f-fin-find our tokens for this v-voo-voodoo shit," Bill said.  
"Guess we have to aswell?" Eddie said.  
"Yeah, see you guys later," she looked over at the new hickey on Eddies neck, "or not."

Richie and Eddie kissed eachother goodbye before heading off to find their tokens.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3 I know they stayed at an inn, I just changed it for the purpose of this fic also I know nothing about fixing wounds so bare with me.  
Also sorry the beginning of this chapter was rushed, I found it hard to progress the story as I can't watch scenes on YouTube to make this fic as movie accurate as possible.

* * *

"I know your secret, your dirty little secret!" Pennywise sung.  
"Well guess what dickward? So does he, you ain't special!" Richie yelled back.

Pennywise looked at him quiet, not knowing what to do.

"So if you don't mind, I'm gonna go. I bet I'll see you later."

Richie walked away leaving Pennywise in the park. He headed back to the holiday home with the token he'd got from the arcade. While telling Beverly what happened, Eddie burst through the front door with vomit all over him.

"I'm fine," he said while freaking out, "I'm fine."

Eddie ran up the stairs. Beverly and Richie looked at eachother. A few minutes past and the two ran up stairs. They saw Eddie leave the bathroom with a stab wound in his cheek.

"Eddie what the fuck happened?" Richie asked.  
"Oh Bowers was in my room."  
"Did he stab you? In the face?" Beverly asked.  
"Yeah, he did."  
"I'm gonna fight that son of a bitch," Richie started to head towards the bathroom.  
"No point. I stabbed him and he was fine."  
"You WHAT?"  
"I stabbed him through the shower curtain."

Eddie pushed past the two and went to go sterilise the wound. Richie followed. He found Eddie on the couch with a first aid kit on the coffee table. He sat next to him.

"Eddie, you could've ditched that hoodie. That thing isn't cleaning it self."  
"It smells like you," he said opening the kit.  
"With all the vomit?"  
"Yup."  
"Real charmer you are, also I don't think you should fix that up yourself."  
"Why not?" Eddie asked dabbing the wound with some alcohol wipes.  
"It's a stab wound Eddie."  
"We fixed up Ben."  
"Yes, but we were kids with no common sense. We willingly fought a child-eating clown."  
"But if we didn't, we wouldn't be here."  
"That has nothing to do with the fact that you got stabbed in the face."  
"I'm not going to the hospital."  
"Why not?"

Eddie went quiet.

"Eddie, is there something you're not telling me?"

No reply.

"Eds?"  
"I didn't want Myra finding out," he said in a small voice.  
"Who the fuck is Myra?"  
"My wife," he said even quieter.  
"You have a wife?" Richie exclaimed.  
"She doesn't know I came here."  
"What the fuck dude," he said a bit softer as he felt his heart break.  
"I was meaning to tell you."  
"When? After you played with my emotions and used me for your own pleasure?"  
"Richie, that's not what-"  
"I can't believe I thought you were sincere when you said you still loved me after all this time."  
"I don't want to be with her."  
"But you are! What if she found out about last night? She'd be crushed.  
"You don't know her."  
"I know, but she must fucking love you enough if she married you."  
"Richie I-"  
"I didn't think you had it in you to do this."

Eddie looked down at his shoes.

"You need to sort your shit out," he turned and walked away.

Richie started to run upstairs when he was stopped by Bill.

"H-hey, wh-wha-what's wrong?" He asked, noticing the tears in Richies eyes.  
"Eddie has a wife," he said shakily.

He stepped around Bill and continued to run up the stairs. Bill stood still in place before hearing Richies door slam and lock.

"R-ri-richie!" Bill yelled following him after hearing the door lock.

He banged on the door.

"What?" Richie asked through the door.  
"P-pl-ple-please unlock th-th-the d-d-door."

He unlocked the door and opened it.

"Y-yo-you can sh-sh-shut the d-d-door, but pl-please don't l-lo-lock it."  
"Why?"  
"J-j-ju-just don't," Bill started to fiddle with Stans wedding ring.

Richie noticed and immediately felt bad.

"Sorry Bill, I'll keep the door unlocked," he said putting a hand on Bills shoulder.

They smiled at eachother before Bill walked away. Richie shut the door and went to sit on the bed. Eddies clothes from the night prior were still on the floor. Richie took his glasses off and put them on the bed next to him. He put his face in his hands and cried. Soon his hands were wet with tears. His chest felt tight. This time, he couldn't go to Stan for comfort. The one loser he'd trusted most (not including Eddie) was gone. Despite being in a home filled with his old friends, he felt truely alone.

He didn't leave his room again that night. He cried himself to sleep. Once he was out, Eddie had come into his room. He looked at the tear stained pillow and felt guilt rise in his stomach. He sat at the foot of the bed facing away from him.

"I'm so sorry," he said, "I've been trying to leave her...I swear. Every time I bring up a divorce she does what my mom used to do. She plays the victim and convinces me I can't live without her. I don't love her Rich...I love you."

Eddie sighed. He got up and walked out of the bedroom. He whispered a soft goodnight before closing the door behind him. Beverly ran up the stairs panicking.

"Eddie! Wake the others up now, we have to go!"  
"What?"  
"Bill h-he's going to fight pennywise by himself, we have to go help!"

Within 10 minutes all the losers were out the front of Neibolt. This was it. The final fight.

* * *

Sorry this chapter is a bit short


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4 (trigger warning: death)  
Won't be word for word as this is fan fic

Also, I don't remember much of the fight scene so I'm sorry if I miss out parts

* * *

A door slammed behind Bill, Richie and Eddie separating them from the other losers. The rusty old fridge against the far wall started to rattle. The door flung open to reveal a teenage boy folded in an unnatural position. A head appeared through the legs.

"It's Stan," Richie said.

The head rolled out the fridge until it hit an old mattress. It started to speak.

"It's your fault I'm dead Bill."  
"N-n-no S-s-st-st-st-sta-st-st...Stan."

Richie and Eddie exchanged a glance. Bills stutter had never been this bad, not even when they were kids.

"You made me promise."

Bill wiped a tear.

"Richie, w-what's happening to me?"

The head asked as spider legs started sprouting from the head.

"You've got to be kidding me."

The weird Stan-spider ran at the three men. Bill and Richie fought it off until they lost it. Eddie was in the corner having a panic attack. Richie went over to see if he was ok when the spider jumped onto Richie.

"Get the knife!" Bill yelled.

Eddie couldn't move. He wanted to, he wanted to help, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't move. His feet were glued to the floor. Ben burst through the door. He grabbed the knife and stabbed the head. They threw it off Richie.

"Holy shit," Richie said, "if he wanted a kiss he could've just asked."  
"You almost died Richie," Beverly said.  
"And?"

Beverly scoffed and rolled her eyes. They turned to see Bill scolding Eddie.

"He could've died, first S-s-stan and now Richie? You want Richie dead too?"  
"Bill please, don't be mad...I was just scared I'm sorry."  
"Hey hey hey Bill, lay off him," Richie interjected.  
"You almost died!"

"As I've been told, but I didn't. No one is going to die."

Bill glared for a second before walking away.

"T-thanks Rich."

Richie gave him a halfhearted smile before turning away to join the rest of the losers. One second they were there, next second Eddie was standing next to Richie staring at a pomeranian.

"Sit," Richie said.

The dog obliged.

"He did it," Eddie said.  
"Oh that's cute."  
"That's a good boy."  
"That's super cute."  
"That's a good boy," Eddie repeated.

The dog grew 10x it's size it became a skeleton. They both screamed and slammed the door.

"Next time we'll just go with regular scary!"  
"Next time?"

Richie ran out of the little cave and began yelling at pennywise who was now a large spider.

"Hey you! You wanna play a game? Let's play truth or dare.I have a truth for you, you're a sloppy bitch!" he yelled, "let's dance, yippee ki yay motherfu-"

He got off as he got caught in the dead lights. His body rose up into the air exactly how Beverly's did all those years ago. Eddie ran out from the cave to see this. He picked up the pole Beverly had given him.

"It kills monsters if you believe it does," he whispered to himself, "it kills monsters if you believe it does."

He turned to look at pennywise who was about to eat Richie.

"Beep beep motherfucker!" He screamed as he threw the pole into the clowns mouth. He stumbled backwards and got impaled by the area which they performed the ritual.

Eddie ran up to Richie. He tried to shake him awake, but to no avail. He remembered what Ben had done to wake up Beverly. He leant down and kissed him softly. When he pulled away he regained colour in his eyes. Eddie smiled as a tear fell down his cheek.

"Richie, wake up man," he smiled, "hey Richie listen, I think I got it man. I think I killed it, I did it, I killed it for real-"

A large claw impaled Eddie straight through his stomach.

"Eddie..." he said in a soft, broken voice.  
"Richie," he muttered before the claw pulled him backwards and threw him into a lower cave.

Richie immediately got up and ran straight over there. Despite having a big headache from the dead lights and having a giant demonic alien spider chasing him, he ran. He didn't look back or listen to the others. He ran straight into the cave.

"Eddie," he said grasping his hand.  
"Richie..."

Tears filled both of their eyes. The rest of the losers appeared behind Richie.

"I remember the leper," Eddie began, "I imagined him to be small and then...he was just gone."  
"There's more than one way to make someone small," Beverly said.  
"Make them feel like they are," Ben said.

The two ran out and the rest of the losers followed...except Richie.

"Richie," he managed softly, "I need to tell you something."  
"Yeah what's up Eds?" he replied in a shaky voice.  
"I..I fucked your mom."

He started to laugh, but it quickly died out by his coughs.

"I'm not leaving your side Eds."

He took off his jacket and pressured it against the wound even though he knew it wouldn't help.

"Richie we need you!" One of the losers yelled. He couldn't make out who it was, but he didn't care.  
"G-go," Eddie choked, "go help."  
"I'm not leaving you."  
"Richie go."  
"No."  
"Please."  
"Eds-"  
"Go h-help them."

Richie kissed Eddie on the forehead before leaving to go help. Eddie held Richies jacket tight in his hand. He felt his life slowly draining from him. He knew this was the end, but he was scared to let Richie watch him drift off. He insisted he help so he could die by himself.

Richie grabbed the claw off of pennywises who was a lot smaller since last time he saw him.

"You sloppy son of a bitch, I fucking hate you!" He screamed at the dying clown.

They reached into his chest and pulled out the heart of the alien. They squeezed it all together. Pennywise slowly faded. He felt relief wash over him before his mind wandered back to Eddie.

"Eddie," he said before running back to him.

He crouched next to him and grabbed his hand again. Eddie squeezed it back very softly.

"Richie," he said in a very quiet whisper, "I..I lo..."

His voice silenced and his grip on Richies hand weakened.

"Eddie," Richie shook him, "Eddie come on."  
"Richie..." Mike said.  
"Guys it's ok, he's ok we can still help him," he was in total denial.  
"Richie, he's gone," Beverly spoke.

He pulled Eddie in close.

"Please don't go Eds," he whispered softly, "I love you."  
"We have to go," Ben said.  
"R-richie come on," Bill said.  
"No we can't leave him down here!"  
"Richie!" Beverly said, "let's go."  
"No!"

Ben and Mike started to pry Richie off him. They dragged him back and pulled him onto his feet. Despite his best efforts to fight them off he couldn't.

"We can't leave him!" He cried over and over again as he was dragged.

Once they were out of Neibolt the house collapsed. Richie tried to run back in there, but was restrained.

"Eddie!" he cried out, "Eddie!"

After a while he admitted defeat. He turned to face the losers. Tears fell down his. cheeks profusely and onto the floor below him. He didn't go to any of the losers for comfort. He choked on a sob then walked off. Everyone else followed him.

Why don't we go to the quarry?" Mike said, "wash this shit off."  
"Wouldn't be very clean, but yeah," said Ben.

The whole time they were walking, no one said anything. People gave them odd looks, but Richie couldn't care less. His heart was broken. Completely shattered. He still didn't believe it. He didn't want to believe it. He couldn't. He wouldn't believe it.

They all took there shoes off at a rail by the quarry. It hadn't been there 27 years ago, but of course times were changing and safety seemed to be more of a priority. The losers jumped in one by one. First Beverly, Bill, Ben, Mike then Richie. They swam out a bit further before deciding that where they were was a good place to stop. Richie sat on a rock while others washed the blood and dirt off even though it was no use. The water was filthy.

"You guys, Eddie would hate this," Bill said.  
"Because we're washing ourselves in shitty water?" Mike asked.  
"He'd be telling us that we'd get streptococcal-something," Beverly smiled.

The losers all let off a small chuckle...except Richie. He had taken his glasses off and was cleaning blood off of them when it finally hit him. The blood was Eddies. He was gone. He had died saving Richie. His heart felt as if it breaking was enough to kill Richie.

"Richie?" Ben said, noticing he was smiling or cracking a joke with them.

Richie dropped his glasses and put his face in his hands. He couldn't hold it in anymore. A loud sob escaped from his lips. He completely broke down. Eddie was really gone. He could never hold him, tease him, kiss him and tell him he loves him ever again. The losers all moved in closer to Richie. They all hugged him. He looked around for a second and smiled.

"Thanks you guys, I'm not wearing my glasses so I can't see who is who."

They all laughed.

"No I'm serious I don't know where my glasses are.  
"Are you serious?" Beverly smiled.

They all set off looking for Richies glasses. He smiled softly to himself. The losers were always here for him and they always will be.

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One or two more chapters are coming. Hope you guys are enjoying this story!


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5 Thank you for so much support on this fic!  
If you want some more reddie, I have one more reddie fic called "Ha P.S, with Stans letter, I found a photo of it online and wrote down all of it plus added the things that he said that wasn't in the letter so if it's a bit different that is why.  
Enjoy the last chapter of this fic :)

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Once Richie had packed up the last of his things he had got into his car. He was about to leave when his mind wandered to Eddie. His room. His stuff...it was still in there. He took the keys out of the ignition and walked back inside. He climbed the stairs and entered Eddies room. His bed was made neatly and his bags were in a neat pile in the corner. He walked into the bathroom connecting onto the room. There was still blood on the floor from when Bowers had stabbed him. His toothbrush, floss, toothpaste and comb were sitting by the sink. He smiled to himself before it hit him. Eddie wasn't coming back to clean up his stuff. He wasn't going to just walk through the door, put all his stuff back into his suitcases and go back to his god awful wife. He was gone.

His train of thought was lost when he heard a phone start vibrating on Eddies bedside table. He walked over to see Eddies phone. There was a picture of the woman, who looked like a spitting image of his mother on the screen. The word "Myra" filled the top half of the picture. Richie picked it up and answered the call.

"Hello? Eddie? Where have you been, why haven't you called?"  
"Myra, this is Richie um Eddies friend."  
"Where is Eddie?"  
"Eds- I mean Eddie...he's gone. I'm sorry...I-" Richie started crying.  
"What do you mean he's gone?"  
"He died," Richie choked out, "I shouldn't be the one telling you this, I'm sorry."  
"What?" Richie heard her voice become more shaky, "what happened?"  
"H-he got attacked by someone who used to live here, we couldn't save him. I tried...I promise you I did, but I couldn't save him," he started heaving.  
"What about the person who hurt him? What happened to them?"  
"He's dead too, we made sure of it."  
"I'm sorry I have to go, please come see me. I'll text you the address."  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yeah...if you don't mind, I need to deal with this a-alone...thanks for telling me."  
"Take all the time you need."

The line went silent. He put Eddies phone in his pocket. Richie wiped a tear from his cheek and sniffed. The last thing he wanted to do was go visit Myra, but maybe it would be good...maybe. Richie went back into the bathroom and picked up Eddies toiletries. He took them over to one of the many bags in the corner and put them away. He looked through the draws in the bedside table and found his medication. Way more medication then he needed. His mom was truely a monster. He moved all of Eddies belongings into his bags. He was about to zip them up when he caught a glimpse of a white jacket. He took it out and looked at it.

"I miss you so much," he cried, "please come back...please."

Richie took his glasses off and dropped them. He buried his face into the jacket and started weeping.

"I love you Eds, I always have. I'm sorry I y-yelled at you...I'm so so so sorry," he choked on his tears, pulling the jacket close to his chest, "please come back."

He took a deep breath and wiped his tears. Richie slipped the jacket on and finished zipping up Eddies bags. He carried them to his car and put them into the trunk. He got in this car, turned on the ignition and set off. He drove past Neibolt. The house was collapsed now and there was no way of retrieving Eddies body. He shook his head as he drove past. He vowed to never go back to Derry. Ever. On his way out he drove up to the kissing bridge.

Richie got out of his car and pulled a pocket knife out of his back pocket. He knelt down next to the wooden barrier and ran his finger over the R+E he had carved many years prior with Eddie. It looked almost faded. He began to recarve it with his pocket knife. He smiled. When he blinked a tear rolled down his cheek.

When he was satisfied he began to speak softly, "I hope this time I won't forget you when I leave. You're the best thing that ever happened to me and you always will be. I wish you could actually hear everything I was saying. Maybe I'll see you again in another life. I love you, I always have and I always will, goodbye Eds."

He stood and got back into his car. He slammed on the accelerator and didn't look back.

Once he had left the town he waited for his memories to go, but they never did. Part of him wanted to lose the memories. He wanted to forget the pain and suffering he'd endured by losing Stan and Eddie, but the other part of him wanted to remember. He wanted to remember holding Eddie tight, arguing with him, joking with him, Stan rolling his eyes over them bickering. He wanted to hold on to the good stuff, but he knew if the bad stuff went, the good parts would go too.

He flew out to New York. He gave Eddies belongings back to his wife. Myra hugged him tight and thanked him for coming all that way. She invited him to the funeral, but he couldn't bring himself to go. He didn't want to bury an empty casket knowing where Eddie laid.

He returned home to a singular letter in his mailbox. When he took it out of the mailbox he felt his chest tighten. He instantly recognised the handwriting. Stan. Richie walked into his small house and dropped his bags by the doorway. He sat on his couch and opened the letter. He took a deep breath before reading it.

_Dear losers,_  
_I know what this must seem like, but this isn't a suicide note. You're probably wondering why I did what I did, it's because I knew I was too scared to go back. And if we weren't together? If all of us weren't united? I knew we'd all die. So I made the only logical move. I took myself off the board. Did it work? Well if you're reading this...then you know the answer. I lived my whole life afraid. Afraid of what would come next. Afraid of what I might leave behind. Don't be. Be who you want to be. If you find someone worth holding on to? Never fucking let them go. Follow your own path wherever that takes you. I know I told you this wasn't a suicide note, and it isn't. Think of this letter as a promise. A promise I'm asking you to make. To me, to eachother, an oath. See the the thing about being a loser is you don't have anything to lose. So, be true, be brave, stand, believe and don't ever forget we're losers and we always will be._  
_Stanley Uris_

"Jesus Christ Stan, I know if you knew how to defeat him you wouldn't of even needed us," he laughed to himself, "you were always good at insulting people."

He hadn't even noticed he was crying. A tear fell onto the paper. Richie dropped the letter between his feet and brought his hands up to his face. He removed his glasses and dropped them on top of the letter. He buried his face in his hands. He felt as if he'd been punched in the stomach. He thought about his childhood...well the parts he could remember anyway.

_Richie lifted the window Stan always kept unlocked. He was soaked from head to toe as it was absolutely pissing down outside. Stanley who had been reading put his book mark inside the book and placed it on the bed. He turned on his lamp to see Richie standing by the window. His hands were shaking and his eyes were bloodshot. Stanley walked over to him and pulled him close. He didn't care that he was soaked, he just wanted to try make him feel better. Richie gripped the back of Stanley's shirt tight and buried his face in his shoulder._

_"What's wrong with Rich?" he said softly._  
_"Eddie...I think he hates me," he sobbed._  
_"Why would he hate you?"_  
_"I...I told him I l-loved him and he freaked out, told me to leave," he cried harder._

_Stanley hugged him tighter._

_"It's ok, I'm sure he'll call soon."_

_The pulled away from eachother. Richie managed a smile. Stanley wiped a tear rolling down Richies cheek. He let him stay the night. He gave him some spare pyjamas, a few pillows and a sleeping bag._

He was always so kind to Richie even after his relentless teasing. It made his eyes sting just thinking about what his friend had done to himself. He wished he just could've said goodbye.

Weeks passed, Richie only answered his phone to his agents. The other losers had tried to contact him, but he'd let them go to voicemail. All he wanted to do was cry. He was wallowing in his emotions when there was a loud bang on his front door. Richie quickly wiped his tears and got up to answer the door. When he opened it, Beverly and Ben were there.

"Hey," Richie said flatly.  
"Hey Rich, are you ok?" Ben asked.  
"You haven't been answering our calls or texts and we're worried about you."  
"I'm fine guys, really."  
"Have you looked at your instagram lately?" Beverly asked.  
"No."  
"Well there are heaps of people worried about you, they think you died," she added.  
"It feels like I have," he mumbled.  
"Hmm?" Ben hummed.  
"Nothing, I'm fine guys, I'll post something tonight so they do know I'm not dead," he half mocked.  
"You know it's ok to not be ok," Ben gave him a sad look.  
"Yeah, I know."  
"Call us," Beverly smiled.  
"I will, thanks for stopping by."

He hugged them both goodbye and closed the door.

"Wow people are worried about me," he said to himself walking to his bedroom, "that's a first."

Richie picked up his phone and opened instagram. Over 5,000 comments from the last week wondering if he was ok. He pressed on the small button in the middle at the bottom. Instagram opened his gallery. The first photo it selected was a selfie Richie and Eddie had taken the morning before they went to find their tokens. Richies nose was scrunched and he his lips formed a soft smile. Eddie had his lips on Richies cheek while his hand was placed softly on the cheek opposite. He felt his eyes begin to sting with tears. He left it on that photo and pressed 'next.' He skipped past all of the filters and opened it to the part where he added a caption. He sniffed, then began typing.

_About a month ago, I lost my best friend. He was the most important person to me. I thought I could keep living my life, get over it as if nothing happened, but deep down I know nothing will ever be the same. He made me feel like I was worth something. Worth more than what I have. Worth more than I once thought. He was the strongest person I know and I will forever hold him close. He will forever be a part of me. I will miss all the time I spent with him. I will miss holding him, muttering sweet nothings while we drift off to sleep. I will miss laughing with him and our friends getting annoyed at our banter. I will miss him, heck I already do. Eddie "Eds" Kaspbrak will always hold a place in my heart, no matter what. Thank you to everyone who has been patient and waited for me while I've been silently dealing with losing him. I love all of you and remember, it's okay not to be okay._

He read over the caption a few times before hitting the blue text in the top right corner that said "share." He refreshed his notifications to see some people had already liked the post. People began sending love in the comments and Richie smiled to himself as he felt a tear roll down his cheek.

He knew the healing process was going to be long and he was prepared for it.

Eddie was a part of him and that part of him was now _something missing._

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	6. Epilogue

Epilogue

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Richie adopted a pomeranian called Oatmeal. He didn't name it, but the dog reminded him of the last proper moment he had with Eddie before he was taken away. He began writing his own material and ended up with his own netflix show. After each episode he had the words 'In loving memory of Stan Uris and Eds Kaspbrak" appear.

Bill moved houses. His house he shared with Stanley didn't feel like a home anymore. He kept photos of them framed all around his new home. He left Stanley's books on the bookshelf even though he had no interest in reading them. He wrote a book about the whole IT situation and ended up becoming a multimillionaire. He never married again. He felt that Stanley was his one true love and that he had his shot at love.

Ben and Beverly married and moved to a home overlooking the beach. They adopted twins named Daniel and Ryley. They hosted a get together for the remaining losers twice a year. They'd come to their house and stay for a week. They all got to know Daniel and Ryley and the twins enjoyed playing with Oatmeal.

Mike finally went to Florida and realised it was shit so he went to LA with Richie. He went to almost all of his shows where he ended up meeting a girl named Simone. After two years he proposed and they ended up getting married. Simone, Mike and Richie hung out almost every week.

They were all forever changed by IT and the loss of their friends, but they got through IT together and they could get through the pain together too.


End file.
